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“I told you so.” – This molten lava-forged weapon of a phrase ignites a flood of dopamine into the minds of those who dare to unsheathe it just before it slashes its’ victim down to a pile of ashes. It feels good to whip that bad boy out, doesn’t it?
The ability to leave a person shamed and regretful for their failures by letting them know their outcome was predicted the whole time is a feeling many people love to bathe in. I mean, why wouldn’t you remind a person they are your inferior because they didn’t listen to you about a choice they made or didn’t make?
In all honesty, the sole mission of this statement is to shame the receiver into believing that you are the one valuable truth that should be heeded above all and should they choose to ignore you, they will be wrong and suffer failure. Essentially this equates to: ‘I am hurt you didn’t listen to me when I, in fact, have the biggest dick of all and that’s why my opinion matters.’
(Too much? Probably too much. But you get the point.)
Now let’s flip the script and kick-spin the table; of course there are people who genuinely care when telling someone “I told you so.” They are just expressing their concern in a matter-of-fact kind of way and feelings be damned, they want you to know they foresaw this in their crystal ball.
Intentions and relationships aside, this seemingly unnecessary phrase is actually a blessing in disguise. You want to, no, you NEED to hear it. That sounds crazy to you, right? Let me explain.
A Subconscious Motivator
I like to call these type of situations a subconscious motivator. These occurrences mean you are doing something right, not wrong. It is okay to fail. It is right to be wrong.
At first it might not seem all too good. After all, you were just reminded of your bad decision. Who likes that? You will be hurt. Angry even. Most likely embarrassed. You’ll feel like TMZ just EXPOSED you to the world. Good. You need to feel that.
I know this all sounds counter-intuitive but how do you expect to learn and grow? Answer: Failure! Fall flat on your face. Make those bad decisions. Don’t be afraid to lose because whether you realize it or not, that person that said “I told you so” has just begun to kindle a soon-to-be conflagration deep inside of you.
You subconsciously want to prove them wrong.
So use that fire to motivate you the next time around. There is no better way of progressing as a human being than to gain valuable experience and knowledge to absorb from. These are building blocks for your foundation as a person. It is your character that you are developing and what better way to learn what to do than to learn what not to do.
The Right Mindset
Just remember, there will ALWAYS be someone anticipating and hoping for your downfall just to be able to say, “I told you so.” Expect it. Live for that moment. It may be tough to swallow at the time but with the right kind of mindset, you are well on the path to becoming a better you.
So try not to get so bent out of shape when you hear this said to you. We need people like that to move us along in life. And as cliché as it sounds, it’s extremely satisfying to be able to rise up out of those ashes like a Phoenix with the wisdom you’ve gained.
Now you can tell them so.